The Great Family Reunion of 2001

Okay, it wasn't a real family reunion, rather it was a really big birthday party for my wife's grandma. Not just any birthday either, it was the big 9-0. I have to say right now that she is an amazing lady. She is feisty, opinionated, and one hell of a golfer. Not so much a distance player, but she hits all the fairways.

So as usual, we start at the beginning. I have to get time off work. I make a bigger deal out of this than I should. I have this strange notion that if I go away the company will fall apart and everything will break. At least I'm only half right. As a result, I hardly ever take vacation time. I have it stored up like acorns in a tree for winter. Only winter never comes because I live in the bay area where there is only one season and even though I don't know what it is, I know it isn't winter. So anyway, I put in for the time off and people faint and laugh and point at me since I gave them a month and half notice. It's not only me getting time off though. My wife's sister is a co-founder of the company I work for. I know what you are thinking right now, and just to set the record straight I was working here before I got married. I've also know her husband, another co-founder, since Jr. High days back in Chico. Anyway, we are all going to be gone for this trip and I'm the only one who freaks out...of course I'm the only one who knows the root password to most of the machines now but that is for another story.

The time has come to take our flight, so we make our way to SFO, get on the plane and then the most amazing thing you can imagine happens. We leave EARLY. That's right folks, we left SFO a full 5 minutes before our scheduled departure time. I was in shock all the way to Atlanta. Oh yea, our destination is Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, in case you were wondering.

But the Laws of Travel can never be broken and thus one seemingly good turn of events was cancelled out in Atlanta. Our connecting flight was cancelled due to some rain storm or something...starts with an h...oh yea, hurricane. That's what it was! Debbie maybe? I don't remember. Anyway, we get to spend about 6 extra hours in ATL. Never fear weary travelers! I figured something like this would happen so I made sure to bring my new Powerbook and a small stack of DVDs. Nothing like Men In Black to help pass the time. I would like to take this opportunity to thank the Atlanta Airport for the use of their electricity to charge my Powerbook battery.

12:30am that 'night' we get on our connecting flight and finally make it to Myrtle Beach. My wife's parents were there to meet us. I don't know if you have been back east but there is this strange phenomenon called humidity. We have on the west coast, but it must be different because nothing feels like east coast humidity. I've never spent much time out of California so every time I encounter this stuff I zaps me. Hard. Plus the whole loosing three hours thing really bugs me. I refused to set my watch for 3 days. I eventually caved, just in time to come back and get even more confused.

Most of the people who came all stayed in this one condo on the beach. The one thing I noticed was that most of the houses were up on stilts. I thought was odd at first until it was explained to me that in the south east they have these storms called hurricanes that basically come through and mess everything up and the whole place floods or the waves cover most of the "beach area" and it's generally not a place you want to be when it's happening. There had been hurricane warnings before we got there. We were to be spared the horrific ordeal though.

Day 1: So this is what jet lag feels like...

We weren't the last to arrive, but we weren't the first. Before us were Kat's [a.k.a. my wife] parents and the Miers. Fred and Sally Miers and their son Peter had driven down from somewhere in New York. I think. I'm still fuzzy on at one. Peter had flown to NY from Phoenix, Arizona and then drove down. Kat and I had been told that Peter needed someone "younger than 50" to hang out with. I had never met Peter and Kat had only met him once many years ago. It seems as though Peter is 30-something and not married. Apparently people were giving him a hard time about this and we were to come in and save him from family harassment. I figured this was good, because no matter how lame and annoying I may seem to him, it would be better than, "when are we going to get grandkids!" Since Kat and I were pretty trashed from the trip, day one consisted of not much, followed by cocktail hour at grandma's house. There Peter and I planned our attack on the next day. I was to go play golf with him.

Day 2: Fore!

I suck at golf. I played a lot during high school and college, but that was 8 years ago, maybe more. I've been to the driving range 3 or 4 times a year since then. Just enough to not forget how to hold the club, but not enough to consistently hit the ball father than 30 feet. So Peter picks a cheap, crappy place where we can hack away and we set off in his parent's swank new Volvo. I got to use his mom's clubs. At least her bag wasn't pink. We get to the course and discover some bad news, for me at least. The driving range is closed. I have no warm up. I have to walk up to the tee cold, without having swung a club in months. Let's not get into details and just focus on the fact that I had a good time and I didn't kill any people or animals. I think...

The really fun part was basically reciting the dialog to Caddyshack line for line. "I don't think the hard stuff is going to come down for hours." Yeah, it rained. They thought it might be a thunder storm so a horn blew and everyone on the course had to come in. This was my first introduction to the south's lack of smoking laws. *cough* *cough* We didn't really know what to do so we ate lunch and waited the rain out like everyone else. In 45 minutes or so it blew over and we headed back out to finish the 5 or so holes we had left. I had a blast even though I probably shot around 135. You do the math.

Luckily we got back just in time for cocktail hour! I learned to drink Corona. I don't know if I grew or regressed.

Day 3: Did I mention it was hot?

Meanwhile, in another horrid travel story more weary travelers were finding their way to Myrtle Beach. I would do the roll call but it wouldn't really mean much to anyone else and I would feel really bad if I forgot someone. Of course I could just check with Kat or even just look at the pictures but darn it if I don't just feel too lazy to do that.

So do you ever wonder where in a story the author just walks away and comes back days later to try and finish up whatever thought they were on? Yeah, me either...where was I? Oh yes...

More golf! This time Peter and I go with his parents to the country club that grandma belongs to. It's an old money place, built near big tobacco that has been run out by the tourists coming to the beach. But the country clubs are always there. The place just feels old. It was probably because I was 20 years younger than most of the other players on the course though. I'll skip all the horror stories about how bad I played and just skip to the good part. On the 9th hole I shot par, and there was much rejoicing. The hard part about using other peoples golf clubs is remembering that you can't throw them in the lake when you get pissed off at how bad you are playing. Luckily I kept the clubs on the course.

After golf, what else...cocktails!

© Copyright 2002 Patrick Berry. Last update: 3/24/02; 9:24:22 AM.