Restoring Honor and Integrity

The Onion mocking Bush/Cheney '04? BRILLIANT!

"After years of false statements and empty promises, it's time for big changes in Washington," Bush said. "We need a president who will finally stand up and fight against the lies and corruption. It's time to renew the faith the people once had in the White House. If elected, I pledge to usher in a new era of integrity inside the Oval Office."

Oh man.

"A credibility gap has opened between the Oval Office and America," Bush said. "The public hears talk, but they don't see any result. But if you choose me as your next president, the promises I make in my inaugural address will actually mean something. The president of this country will be held accountable for his promises, starting Jan. 20 of next year." (emphasis mine)

Update: Greg Kucharo ads this gem via irc:

"This government is clinically incapable of providing accurate information on practically everything."