Windows Hates Me
Rarely do I speak highly of Windows. I don't really care that 95% of computers, or whatever other percentage you want to throw out, run some version of Windows. I myself, have no need for it. My problem comes in that the people around me, mainly family, do use Windows. This is what causes my pain. I don't blame my family for needing help with their computers though. I blame Windows. I'm sure if they had Macs or Linux installed (Hahahahaha!) I would be just as annoyed with these operating systems. But they don't have those OSes installed. They have Windows. Windows 98. Windows Me. Windows 2000. Windows XP. Windows, Windows, Windows...
Here is a list of what Windows can't do for those close to me right now:
- Connect to a Canon S400 digital camera (Windows 98)
- Stay connected to a Wireless Access Point with an Instant Wireless USB Adapter (Windows 2000)
- Remember it's monitor resolution (Windows 98)
- Stay connected to Earthlink DSL modem (Windows 98)
- Have Word use the Adobe Acrobat conversion plug-in to make a PDF
Now, since these computers belong to family or friends, I'm prohibited from tossing them out the window or taking a sledgehammer to them. I can only imagine the wave of satisfaction that would roll over me as I pounded these crappy beige boxes into tiny bits of twisted metal.
We could easily frame my feelings with a little back and forth from Randal and Dante from Clerks:
"I love technology."
"But you hate computers!?!?"
"I know, ironic isn't it?"
If Windows didn't hate me, it would do all of these things and I would be free to spend my weekend reading the Sunday paper, watching some movies, and generally goofing off. Why do you hate me Windows? Besides cursing you at every turn and trying to make you look bad as compared to my beloved Mac OS (any version except 7.1), what have I ever done to you?
